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Saturday, February 13, 2010

complain, complain, complain...

So I started my diet on Tuesday... I was excited at first and went to the grocery store to get my food and spent a shitload. Then I bought my scale. I wanted a nice one so I spend another shitload. Then this afternoon I realized I had run out of food so I went out and bought more to hopefully last me a few weeks...

Yesterday I was really down in the dumps (do people still use that expression?) because I weighed myself in the morning, which you shouldn't do until week 4, and I wasn't losing weight. Then I dropped my food at work and since it was yogurt and not an apple or something that could have been washed it was uneatable. Unless I licked it off the floor, which I probably would have done had there not been coworkers around. Strangers, fine. Coworkers, I have to see them everyday so probably not. I had my snack and lunch like planned and come home for dinner, drop that on the floor as well and dog comes and eats it. Leila has had a cold for about a month now, so I couldn't drop everything and drag my poor little girl out to the store. So I ate some fruit and a little chicken. Then I made the mistake of weighing myself again and found I gained 2lbs.. How? I don't know, but I do know this is why its very specific you should NOT be weighing yourself on an hourly basis or you will be sadly disappointed and pissed off, as I am.

Typically I would have given up by now.. pathetic, I know. The fact that I have invested so much money is whats keeping me going. That and the fact that my daughter is three years old and I still have a baby gut. Uggghhh, I have a long long road ahead of me and I am ready to suck it up and be skinny. I have made Leila lunch and dinner all week and watched her eat Valentines treats from her grandparents and been super strong in not "just tasting one". Tomorrow is my niece's birthday party where there will be cake. I love cake. If I had to pick one thing to eat for the rest of my life I'd pick ice cream cake. Tomorrow I get to stare at it and drool. That's the worst part, when its right in front of you.

I have been eating a lot of omelettes loaded up with veggies and to me that's a meal I would eat if I were on a diet or not. There is no alcohol allowed!! I am not a big drinker to begin with, as I think I mentioned before, but its hard to not drink when everyone else is.

I am so grumpy from all the cravings and the fact that my crappy car needed maintenance this week so I had to dip into my new car savings. Tomorrow I will try to be a little more chipper but for now I am a grouch. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and we're going to have brunch at my mom's then Leila and I are getting our nails done and then my husband and I are going to dinner and a movie. Something for this bitchy hungry woman to look forward to. Diet Sprite and Dunkin Donut iced tea are my new BFFs! Black coffee (with splenda) is going to take some getting used to. Whether or not I like it doesn't matter since I need coffee to wake me up in the morning or I'm useless. Also I haven't been drinking my two liters of water as instructed. Its so hard to drink that much water! After awhile it starts to taste gross. Yes, it can happen.

I took pictures to do a before and after but I think I will wait until after to post them. I'm just not ready yet.

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