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Sunday, March 21, 2010

I Love My Husband!

There are a couple occasions a year where gifts are given to the Maulieu girls, Mama included. Christmas is a major holiday for us and our girls, they love presents, who doesn't? They also love to give gifts. With each child we have comes more and more gifts under the tree. It started with Mike and I in our one bedroom apartment with our Charlie Brown tree. We were lucky if we each got a book. Broke college students is what we were. Then Mike graduated college and grad school and we had Maddie, and so the gifts increased. Nowadays Christmas shopping is a strategically planned event that we must start planning mid October.

Birthdays are of course gift giving holidays. When Maddie was born and Mike got his first job one of his co-workers told him about "Push Presents" - a present a new father gives a new mother when she gives birth to their child. In our household Mama gets a present and so do all Mama's babies.

The girls got new American Girl Dolls and Bitty Babies from American Girl, I got a beautiful Tiffany ring with my birthstone, Baby Alise got a prefect Kate Spade diaper bag, and The Maulieus as a whole got a brand new iMac. My husband works his ass off so me and our girls can live the good life. We are so thankful everyday for our wonderful Husband/Father; we could not ask for more, and that is the truth!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

complain, complain, complain...

So I started my diet on Tuesday... I was excited at first and went to the grocery store to get my food and spent a shitload. Then I bought my scale. I wanted a nice one so I spend another shitload. Then this afternoon I realized I had run out of food so I went out and bought more to hopefully last me a few weeks...

Yesterday I was really down in the dumps (do people still use that expression?) because I weighed myself in the morning, which you shouldn't do until week 4, and I wasn't losing weight. Then I dropped my food at work and since it was yogurt and not an apple or something that could have been washed it was uneatable. Unless I licked it off the floor, which I probably would have done had there not been coworkers around. Strangers, fine. Coworkers, I have to see them everyday so probably not. I had my snack and lunch like planned and come home for dinner, drop that on the floor as well and dog comes and eats it. Leila has had a cold for about a month now, so I couldn't drop everything and drag my poor little girl out to the store. So I ate some fruit and a little chicken. Then I made the mistake of weighing myself again and found I gained 2lbs.. How? I don't know, but I do know this is why its very specific you should NOT be weighing yourself on an hourly basis or you will be sadly disappointed and pissed off, as I am.

Typically I would have given up by now.. pathetic, I know. The fact that I have invested so much money is whats keeping me going. That and the fact that my daughter is three years old and I still have a baby gut. Uggghhh, I have a long long road ahead of me and I am ready to suck it up and be skinny. I have made Leila lunch and dinner all week and watched her eat Valentines treats from her grandparents and been super strong in not "just tasting one". Tomorrow is my niece's birthday party where there will be cake. I love cake. If I had to pick one thing to eat for the rest of my life I'd pick ice cream cake. Tomorrow I get to stare at it and drool. That's the worst part, when its right in front of you.

I have been eating a lot of omelettes loaded up with veggies and to me that's a meal I would eat if I were on a diet or not. There is no alcohol allowed!! I am not a big drinker to begin with, as I think I mentioned before, but its hard to not drink when everyone else is.

I am so grumpy from all the cravings and the fact that my crappy car needed maintenance this week so I had to dip into my new car savings. Tomorrow I will try to be a little more chipper but for now I am a grouch. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and we're going to have brunch at my mom's then Leila and I are getting our nails done and then my husband and I are going to dinner and a movie. Something for this bitchy hungry woman to look forward to. Diet Sprite and Dunkin Donut iced tea are my new BFFs! Black coffee (with splenda) is going to take some getting used to. Whether or not I like it doesn't matter since I need coffee to wake me up in the morning or I'm useless. Also I haven't been drinking my two liters of water as instructed. Its so hard to drink that much water! After awhile it starts to taste gross. Yes, it can happen.

I took pictures to do a before and after but I think I will wait until after to post them. I'm just not ready yet.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

It's here!

I got my personalized 1st Personal Diet today!! I just finished reading everything and totally forgot I need a scale to weigh out my food. Crap. I meant to buy one over the weekend but I have to go grocery shopping for my food so I may as well just get one then. After reviewing my blood work results it looks like it wasn't as much of a hot mess as I thought it would be. Everything looks normal, I'm not even close to diabetic, which I wouldn't have been surprised about.

So far my personalized diet is not what I was expecting. Its pretty plain and simple. Three meals a day and it lists 3-5 choices of what you may eat per meal, none of them are much. I suppose the diet will not change for 12 weeks or whenever I reach my goal weight. Then I will begin "re-feeding" which is basically introducing normal foods to the body. The good news is the food is pretty basic and plain so I wont have to go out and spend a ton of money on new food.

Tomorrow I will weigh myself, measure myself and take pictures of my hot bod. I cant wait. (sarcasm) I will officially begin my diet on Tuesday.

The real shitty part is that I am going on a mini weekend vacation. I will have to be the party pooper who has to bring my own food. Other than all that, I am excited and very determined and motivated. The plan says that my ideal weight for my height should be around 103-109 but that seems a little too small to me. Its more important to me on how I look and how my clothes fit than how much I actually weigh. YAY!

On another note... The Saints win Super Bowl XLIV!! WHO DAT!!! They deserved it, that was exciting. What was not exciting was to come home this afternoon to find many many messy men in my front room surrounded by a 50" plasma TV that I had never seen before. Apparently it was a steal. I'll be the judge of that when I check out my credit card tomorrow. Not tonight, I'm just not up to it right now.

Titanic is on and its taking me right back to Leo's Romeo and Juliet days when I was but a wee girl writing letters to Leo confessing my love. Ahh, its nice to know I am in the same mindset I was when I was eight years old. Not much taller and not really any more mature either.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Happy February!!!

Saturday I got my blood taken for my diet. It sucked. As I previously mentioned, I am terrified of needles. I hate shots, but having blood taken.. gah. Did I mention I have three tattoos? They're all small, about the size of a quarter, but getting them didn't bother me one bit. I'm obviously a freak.

Anyway, the diet should come in my email (I'm guessing) in a week or so, so I will do measurements and weight when it arrives. I'm excited!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

iPad Thinga Majigga

So, we are a Apple family. My dad bought me my first MacBook a few years ago right before I had my daughter. At first I was irritated since I had grown up using a PC and I didn't really feel like learning how to use a Mac. I was pleasantly surprised when it took me less than a day to get the hang of things. Now there's no way you could get me to buy anything else. Even at work.

Same goes for MP3 players and cell phones. I love my iPod and my iPhone. Just when I was ready to buy myself an Amazon Kindle, Apple comes out with something that looks very similar but seems to do much much more. Now I know that my husband and I each have our own laptops and we have our family desktop we share, along with our iPhones. As if we didn't need another silly electronic. But seriously, if someone told me I could never have another iPhone I don't know how I'd survive. Life changing. Kind of. Anyway, I think I will hold off on buying the Kindle until I can check out the iPad and see if its worth the hefty price tag.

Speaking of iPhone, I get bored easily and love to change the cover on my phone. I found a really cute Paul Frank cover

I don't really have the time or money to shop but Valentine's Day is coming.. And as I always say- Go big or go home.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Leila Alaina Babula-Shanley

The other day I was in a carpool line picking up Dan's nephew, Kyle. As I waited I had no choice but to eavesdrop on a conversation had by two of the moms about a women they knew who was recently divorced and about to embark on a new life co-parenting her son with her ex-husband and a step-mom. I had to bite my tongue, hard, as I listened to her trash her "friend's" decisions about letting her child spend time with her new step-mom.

When I was 21 years old I got pregnant. I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was almost four months along. Luckily I took care of myself without the knowledge I was having a baby. I found out one day at a doctor's appointment. The emotions were very mixed. I was so very excited I was going to be a mom in a few short months but I was also very nervous. I had a lot to do; I had to find a place of our own and begin to start our life together. Alone. Just the two of us.

The baby's Daddy and I were never an item- if you will. He didn't know. He had by this point found a lady he really liked and they were on the road to beginning their own future.

Meanwhile, I was working very hard to make sure my child had everything it would ever need. I saved up every penny I earned at work. I was lucky, I had a great job that paid more than enough to support my single lady lifestyle. But was it enough to support the new lifestyle I had set out to achieve for myself and my baby? Time went by and I was beginning to bump in the belly region. It was time to break the news to loved ones and friends. Was it realistic to think that my partner in this particular crime would never have to know? Perhaps if I changed my name and picked up and moved my life. But in this case, that was a big NO.

Why was I so worried? My family took it okay, they weren't mad or upset, but just as I was, they were weary. How was I going to pull it off? More importantly, why did I not want my baby's father to know of his or her existence?

I didn't know the response I would get. He was in a relationship and I didn't want to come in between that with my news. I didn't so much care about me, but I was concerned that no matter how much I already loved my baby that her father may not want to be a father. I didn't mind being denied, but I didn't want my baby to be denied. It didn't deserve that. So I waited.

I was avid about keeping my body in shape during my pregnancy. I knew what a cupcake did to my thighs, I could only imagine what a BABY would do. So for weeks I worked and ran to the gym to workout. Then I met him.

I looked forward to going to the gym everyday because that's where I would see him. He was perfect. I felt like for 90 minutes each day I didn't have to worry about what was going on in my life. It was perfect. Working out left me feeling great and my little conversations with Dan were just what I needed. The best part? I wasn't hiding ANYTHING. He knew what was going on in my life just from little snippets of conversations we shared for just a few minutes everyday. He knew I was pregnant, he knew I was planning on making a life for myself and my child all by myself. My bump was becoming more distinguished and the time to tell the father was looming. I needed a male perspective. He was there for me. He talked me through the whole conversation. He even rehearsed best and worst case scenarios with me. I couldn't believe it, but I had a HUGE crush on him. It was so inappropriate given the circumstances but, it was there none the less.

Not long after that I broke the news to the father. "Whats next?" he asked me. Half excited, half terrified. "You are more than welcome to come with me to find out the sex of the baby," I told him. I could not have asked for a better father for my baby. Even though we were not together, nor did we love each other, but when I told him that he was about to be a father a smirk came over his face. Then when I mentioned that we could work it out so he never had to lift a finger and I would be more than willing to raise the baby alone and not disrupt his life as he knew it, the smirk disappeared and he gave me a look like I was nuts. "No," he said "we'll work together." We planned and talked and planned some more.

Dan was still in my life but a little more so than before. He took me out to dinner every once in awhile, or came with me to register for baby gifts. He acknowledged that I was pregnant and was so supportive. He was becoming my best friend.

When Jake and I went to find out the sex of our baby Jake came in the examination room with me. He sat next to me and held my hand. We heard the heartbeat together. And then the doctor said it. "Congratulations, it's a girl." I cried and he cried. We cried together. It was our first moment together as parents. I knew at that second he was going to be just as great a parent as I planned on being. If our baby was as important to him as she was to me, everything else would somehow work itself out.

That night we celebrated. He brought Libby, who was so supportive and seemed to be just as excited as we were. We had a very long heart to heart and gained mutual respect for one another. I brought Dan. Dan and Jake and Libby and myself all grew to be great friends in the coming months. Soon moving day came. I was extremely pregnant which worked in my favor because I didn't have to lift a finger. I just did what I do best and bossed Jake and Dan around as they moved my furniture and new baby belongings into a two bedroom condo, one room for myself and one room for baby. Jake moved several floors under us, but in the same building. Libby moved in with him.

A month later I went into labor. My family was there, and some even flew in for the birth of my daughter. Jake's family was there too. So was Libby. And Dan.

I was so overwhelmed at how many people already loved my daughter. How could this be possible? A little girl who hadn't even taken her first breath or opened her eyes had more people awaiting her arrival than I had at my Sweet Sixteen or at my graduation.

My sister and Jake were in the room with me when she was born. I couldn't believe and didn't even know how much I could love one person. I loved her a million times over than I even loved myself. She was the single most important thing in my life. From now on everything I did was either for her or because of her. Her daddy felt the same way. We named her Leila Alaina Shanley-Babula. With a name bigger than she was a little piece each of the mommy and daddy that already loved her so much.

Leila technically lived with me but had many many visits throughout the day from Daddy and Libby. Sometimes one, sometimes both. Sometimes they took her home for a few hours while I did laundry or worked from home. Dan came over once a week with dinner. Soon once a week turned into twice, and then some. Leila and Dan had a very special bond. He loved her so much. He loved her [almost] as much as her mommy did. Dan's and my relationship went from strangers, to acquaintances, to friends, to respect, to love.

When Leila was 9 months old Dan moved in with us. He took care of her like she was his own. So did Libby. People sometimes asked me about our situation and asked how I felt that I was not the only mother like figure in my daughter's life. I told whoever asked plain and simple. My daughter has four parents who all lover her equally. Was I ever jealous of the relationship she had with Libby? No. Was Jake ever jealous of the bond Leila and Dan shared? No.

The way we all saw it was that Leila had more than most children had. We might not always be able to buy her exactly what she wants but there will never be a limited supply of love. She has two sets of everything. I know that its not in a child's best interest to have parents that are not together, but what's the rule if she does times two?

Leila, Dan and I still live in our wonderful condo, along with Noelle, Harlow and Lexi dogs. Jake and Libby still live just floors below us. When Leila was a baby she left all the time but always had to come back to me. She was new and physically needed her mother. I needed to know she was sleeping within arms reach of me whenever I would wake up in the middle of the night and wanted to kiss her little forehead and whisper in her ear how much Mommy loves her.

Leila is spending her very first night with her daddy and her Libby tonight. Even though she is not only a phone call away or a twelve second elevator ride away I miss her. My heart hurts when she is not here. This is the first bump I have had in my little motherhood road. Yes, it sucks my little girl is growing up and becoming just about as independent as a three year old can be, but I am blessed that this is the first and worst bump we have hit I consider myself very very lucky.

I am so thankful for my daughter and everyone that loves her and cares for her just as they do. She's a little bit of all of us. She's grown up with what naturally I believe to be the four people with the best personalities. She looks like a mix of her mother and father. She has our light eyes and dark hair. She has my freckles. She's even picking up a little bit of her mother's leprechaun accent, as it is so kindly called around these parts. Already Leila has a heart of gold just like her father. I couldn't ask for more. I am truly blessed.

Claaaaassic Peg.


Victoria's Secret had a tiny bit of clothing leftover from the Semi-Annual Sale, so I got a pair of PINK jeans for $14 and a PINK Nation tee shirt for $6... pretty good. I think that's just about all I can get until the sale comes around again in June-ish?

I also got this cute tee shirt from the new Spring line and a free mini-dog! My daughter has a small collection of mini-dogs, so she was quite thrilled with my purchase. My shirt is actually a v-neck. I like myself a nice v-neck.

Today was the day I had been dreading. I was supposed to have my blood taken for my diet that I wanted to start at or before February 1st. This morning I had breakfast with my Aunt and as I was getting ready to leave for my doctor appointment she asked me if I was supposed to fast. SHIT. I totally forgot and I don't think that two huge blueberry pancakes and several glasses of orange juice is considered fasting. I forgot. Whoops. Oh, and you also see why I desperately need to go on a diet. So now I have to go on Saturday early in the morning.

This is my first week back to work full-time. Actually I start again tomorrow but its almost a full week. I'll be working 7:30 to 5, Monday through Friday until June. I am probably going to lose my mind. I am one of those people who hates getting up in the morning. I normally have to be up by 6 in order to leave by 7:15 but I have to set the alarm a good hour before I have to be up, as I snooze about five.

I am already ready for the weekend. Unfortunately, as previous stated, I must be up early on Saturday for my make-up appointment.